Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Dear 2017 Jan, I am mentally ready

18th Jan 2017
Wednesday
0713hr.

I think i am mentally ready for the next phase.

But all i hope now that it will just come to me naturally.

I pray that this time my call will be answered.

I am running out of time and energy.

Please let my 1 simple happy wish come true in this year of Rooster 2017.

M


Monday, January 16, 2017

Year 2017: Breathe

1707hr
Monday, 16th Jan2017.

Love the phrase. Must be desperate for breathing. Otherwise how to push yourself.

11 days more to CNY.

Can't wait to go away.

Soberity into 16th day. 

And I am not missing my dear alcohol that much so far.

Hell may unlesh on the getaway trip.

Dunno look forward to doing nth, or the break fasting of my lim jiu.

Haha.

M

Friday, January 13, 2017

Passport ticket to better life

13th jan 2017
Fri.
0705hr.

Could alway die for more sleep, never enuff for me.

How to win alot of money and be happily evr after for me?

i am starting to feel alittle atuck for too long in this phase of my life again.

Sleepy.

Tgif.

But fri the 13th.

Argh.



M

Tuesday, January 03, 2017

First Tuesday of Year 2017


Tuesday.
3rd Jan 2017.
1818hr


This is 2nd day into alcohol withdrawal and I am feeling alittle strange, tired, over-focused, and not sure if this is meant to be the right feeling.

This Dry January better persist.

I hope 2017 will be a better year this year. 

M

Thursday, December 29, 2016

End of 2016 soon, my feel is...

29 dec 2016
Thursday.
2345hr.

I survived.

M

Monday, December 26, 2016

On the Eve of Merry xmas 2016

24th dec 2016
Saturday.
1532hr.

Chilling in my Michelle Maisonette.. MM. Like chilling in MM for real For the first time.

After a quick bottoms up of rum water, followed by 2 glass of burbon water.. I feel more relaxed now. Maybe thats y i can chill.

Whole morning was a twirl. biz was not as good as compared to the last few years, and my newbies whom i tot are okay, chut stunts, but they are humans afterall, i been there done that. But anyways, I had enuff of this bs for the past 2 days. Will resume on tuesday.

Self reflection for 2016:
---------------

1. Thank you. - I thank you for my friends, families and loved 1s. I made new friends like Fi, and Ira, very funny indo chicks. We all just instantly click. But too bad Fi has shifted to Bali After her stunt here in sg for close to 9years, and me and her were just hitting together like real bffs for the first time. Somemore we both drink alot. Need me say more?
2. Maybe. - Maybe I should have been decisive and more knowlegable. Decisions that should have been made since the first day i stepped in, i still haven't make it yet. I am still browsing for the best point of sales in town, yet somewhere at the back of my mind, i still feel very resistant to the unknown ahead.
3. I wish - I wish I could have form a family nucleus sooner, sooner as in like 10 years ealier. 10 years later me today, I still feel very alone, yet I just feel I have too much on my plate at the moment that I cannot afford to get burdened with babies shit and energy, I just can't get away with my work. And I can't let go. Becos if I will to let go and not give a shit about it anymore, who else wld give a shit abt you, my hsp?
4. I hope - I hope to be stronger and better, more decisive, less empathetic, becos i am really am a boss now. So i need to get real.
5. PLANS/Hope FOR 2017: fall in love all over again with myself, 10x more confident then today, drop 30% empathy, and hopefully, put the system in place to run automatically, and so i can retire partially with baby making.

2017, let it be a big bang for me in my MM.

I thank for the healthy happy me.

Merry xmas and a happy new year to 2017 everyone.

It is going to be a tough economy year ahead.

As I am about to finish typing, I have been lying on the sofa with a big throw pillow staring thru the square window grills into the grey skies, with the sound of TV HBO in the background. It is about to rain soon. Maybe that is why i am feeling very calm. All i can see is just the clouds and the grey skies. Nothing is blocking my view. Am still deciding if I should remove those grills.

I m loving MM.

This is what I have worked hard for and paid on my own.

Mich, be strong, be nasty.

P.s: I hope I be able to find my niece's xmas present later, a hello kitty trunki. Pls be less crowded.

Bye 2016, 2017 u pls buck up and accelerate alot more. Time is running out for me.

And one more thing, and still trying, quit drinking.

M

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Stop drinking mich

22 dec 2016
Thursday
0230hr

So hot. Got awaken. Mich, u need to stop drinking. Ur body is giving u up.

M